10,000 Reasons...

Many of you have been asking how we are doing.  To be honest I don't know how to answer that question.  We are doing well. Yes that it is true, but that implies that this is easy and things are great in our home.  This is far from the truth.  But if I give some statement going off of my feelings (tired, stressed, scatterbrained) or details of our day (tantrums, fighting, wetting, hitting, kicking,  etc), then you are going to think that I regret my decision or that things are awful.  This is also far from the truth.  We are making it.  That is about all I can say.   We make a few steps forward and in the same week or day, we may take 10 steps backward.  But hey, at least we made it a few steps forward.

How am I doing? I am weary, but somehow there is still enough energy and grace to make it through the day. Perhaps this is the closest I have been yet to being poured out like a drink offering.  How do I do it?  I don't .  When I do it, I lose my cool and yell in anger and frustration.  I start thinking about all the things I miss (like my friends and reading books) and I start throwing a pity party.  I really am painfully having to lean on and trust in the gospel.  I say painfully because although it is so good, it is so hard and painful.  I am now more than ever, thankful for a Savior who endured the horrors of the cross that I might know him.  I all too often forget that my salvation cost Jesus his life, why would I expect that loving these boys would cost anything less than mine.

This song has been on repeat this week. The Lord has used it to encourage me and remind me of his goodness.  And it is a good for me to remind me of all that I have to sing about.

"10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)" 

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul Worship His holy name
Sing like never before O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul I'll worship Your holy name

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing
Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore


Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name

Sing like never before O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name Jesus,
I'll worship Your holy name Lord,
I'll worship Your holy name

Sing like never before O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name Jesus,
I'll worship Your holy name
I'll worship Your holy name