for nothing is impossible...

This week, at our family therapy session, - which was hell by the way - I started thinking: "I can't do this. I am done.  The hurt and pain and needs of these boys goes way deeper than I can help with.  I knew things were going to be bad, but I did not picture it like this. What am I doing? I can't help them. This is impossible. We are not making any progress.  This was a poor decision."

After therapy, I took the boys to Wendy's to get some food and get out of the house because I thought I was going to lose it.  After eating, I decided we were just going to drive for awhile because I didn't know what else to do.  As I was driving, the Holy Spirit did a great deal of comforting and the boys were surprisingly quiet in the back seat.  God reminded me that he is with me and when he is with me, ALL THINGS are possible.  He works outside the realm of natural possibility - after all he is supernatural. He parts the red sea and makes people walk on dry land. He makes bread fall from the sky and water come from a rock.  He makes walls crumble after 7 laps and some trumpets sounding. He raises up an army from dry bones.  He stops the sun.  He calms the storm. He heals the sick. He raises the dead. He kills giants with stones and a sling. He feeds 5000 with a few loaves and fish. He has never broken a promise.  He died and rose again, showing that He has power over the worst in and around us. And he has told me that with Him and because of Him nothing will be impossible.

For nothing will be impossible with God. - Luke 1:37

    He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you." - Matthew 17:20

Nothing is impossible with God.  He has so clearly brought me here, brought the boys here. I am just like the Israelites complaining to Moses that they want to go back to Egypt because they could not see or understand what God was doing.  I have forgotten that God is with me, leading me, and providing for me just when I need it.  Each day I need the reminder that nothing, NO single solitary thing, is impossible for God. He is working now in ways that I can't and may never see.  He is able. I am not gonna make it because I am strong or gifted with kids or because this is gonna get easier some day - but because He is with me and has got a hold of me! I need not be afraid of the impossible because the Creator of all things is with me. In the midst of fear, frustration, and exhaustion, I can and have to trust that my God is greater than all I know. I will probably need you to remind me though. :)

The song called God is Able by Hillsong has been on repeat as a much needed reminder this week...

God is Able  
He will never fail  
He is almighty God
Greater than all we seek  
Greater than all we ask  
He has done great things
 
Lifted up, He defeated the grave  
Raised to life, our God is able  
In His name, we overcome  
For the Lord, our God is able   
God is with us 

God is on our side  
He will make a way
Far above all we know  
Far above all we hope  
He has done great things
 
Lifted up, He defeated the grave 
Raised to life, our God is able  
In His name, we overcome  
For the Lord, our God is able
God is with us  

He will go before  
He will never leave us  
He will never leave us
God is for us  
He has open arms  
He will never fail us  
He will never fail us
 
Lifted up, He defeated the grave  
Raised to life, our God is able  
In His name, we overcome  
For the Lord, our God is able
 
Lifted up, He defeated the grave  
Raised to life, our God is able  
In His name, we overcome  
For the Lord, our God is able
 
For the Lord, our God is able 
For the Lord, our God is able

my job chart....

Chores are a part of growing up.  Helping out is being part of a family.  Parents want it and really kids need to learn how to help as part of their growing up. We started using a website called "My Job Chart" to help manage chores and allowance in our house. So far I love it!  I use it to manage the chores and jobs that the boys could get paid for (mowing the lawn, cleaning the car, pulling weeds, etc). In our house, you don't get paid for cleaning up after yourself (bedroom and bathroom) but for bigger jobs that are not specific to your mess. Since my boys need a lot of positive reinforcement, we also use it for that (wake up to your alarm, brush your teeth, read a book, etc).  But we also use it as a consequence. If they do not obey or if they provoke one another, they can lose points. 

The kids earn points for each job completed.  They have their own login and they are responsible for checking off their completed jobs.  Then once they start earning points they can start redeeming them for things.

You as the parent setup all the jobs/chores.  You can set their frequency and their value.  For example, I made each point worth ten cents.  I pay 100 points for mowing the lawn (ten bucks). I pay 2 points for getting up to your alarm without assistance (20 cents) - this has worked like a charm by the way. Since I started this, I have only had to go in once to get one of the boys up.

You also get to set the rewards.  The kids can save their points for money.  They can share them and give money to a non-profit.  And they can spend them.  You can create rewards for them to spend their points on like more computer time, an ice cream cone, extra alone time with a parent, etc.  Or you can put rewards on their from Amazon.com.  So when my boys ask for something video games, Bey Blades, Legos, etc.), we put it as a reward on their job chart.  Once they have the points, they can go in and redeem them.  You will then get an email saying what your child wants.  If it is a reward from Amazon, you can just click the link and order it. 

It is a really easy system and it has worked well for us far!  They even have an iPhone app (which is kind of lacking, but I am sure will improve).  The boys like it too. They like feeling responsible having their login and earning their own rewards.  I hope that they are also learning about working and saving.  But for the time being, I am loving having my yard mowed, car cleaned, and floors cleaned.

come ye children...

i know i have talked about this book before, but a recent conversation with a friend this week brought it to mind again.  i LOVE this book. it is by far the most encouraging book for children's ministry and parenting that i have read.  it is a short and powerful read.  this book will challenge the way you think about children's ministry and encourage you all at the same time.

spurgeon reminds us that value of a soul is not determined by its age.  we are all guilty (yes even children's ministers) of putting more energy and emphasis in caring for adults and pointing them to jesus, but their soul is no more valuable than a little one's. we often teach the gospel to kids as if they are not really going to be saved until they are older anyway - like our god can't save them as a child.

spurgeon also challenges us to teach the hard doctrines to kids.  just as they are important for you and i to know and understand god, they are are important to the kids.  he pushes back on the idea that things are too hard fro children to understand. he says that if something is too hard for children to understand, then fault lies with the teacher.  if the teacher does not understand it well enough to explain it simply to a child, then they do not truly understand it. sure there are things that developmentally are hard for children to understand, but i think spurgeon is right.  this had driven me to study theology more than ever before.  to explain sovereignty, atonement, suffering, and grace to a child correctly, i had better know it well.  spurgeon as well as those at desiring god argue that the most theologically educated people in your church - meaning those who not just know but who understand it - need to be those in children's ministry.


he also challenges those who teach in children's ministry to teach with such care because our children do not have the choice to leave and sit under better or more theologically correct teaching.  they do not have the discernment yet to know when our teaching is incorrect.  i had never thought about it like that before.

there are many more things i love about this book, but i want you to read it, so i will stop now.  trust me, if you are a parent or in children's ministry, you need this book.

saturday's twitter top 5 [parenting]...

Here are the top 5 twitter posts about parenting that I put on twitter this week, in case you missed them. They are in no particular order...

• A Few Wise Thoughts on Parenting: http://bit.ly/n7UV15
• Why Take Your Kids to Big Church: http://goo.gl/Dy1dr
• How to Do Big Church for Small Kids: http://goo.gl/GgIcQ  
• Giving Grace to Preschoolers... http://goo.gl/6asF3  
• How to glorify God in your work as a mother http://ow.ly/1xEC7k

give them grace...

i read this book on vacation this summer.  it has now become one of my new favorite parenting books.  the author does not line out 10 steps to raising children, but she reminds us of god's grace and hpw as parents we are to be ambassadors of that grace to them.  just as god the father so lovingly instructs us, as parents, we too are called to lead them in that way.  we do want to create rule followers, we want god fearers.  we need our children to understand their need for god and his grace.  we want them to see all that he has lavished upon them.

the author also does a good job of equipping you with some practical tools as well. if you are a parent, i highly recommend you reading this book! 

setting their hope in god...

i recently came across this book as i was blog hopping looking for new children's resources.  i have not read all of it, but what i have read, i love.

it is a book of prayers, similar to the valley of vision, but they are prayers of a parent for their children.  there is nothing magical or more powerful about these prayers, but they are great resource of what and how to pray for your children (and great prayers for yourself -  or maybe that is just me)

if you are a parent, you are going to want this book.  if you know someone who is becoming a parent, you will want to give them this book.  if you work with children, you will want to pray through these for your kiddos.  just to give it more credibility, on the back it has recommendations from russell moore (author of adopted for life), sally lloyd-jones (author the jesus storybook bible), david and sally michael (pastors at children desiring god) and others.

here is a sample prayer:

god,
blessed are those who fear you, who greatly delight in your commandments! please continue to mold my children into such men and women. 

make light dawn in the darkness for them; you are gracious, merciful, and righteous. grant that they deal generously and lend, conducting their affairs with justice. let them never be moved, remember them forever. 

may they not be afraid of bad news, but make their hearts firm, trusting in you. give them steady hearts, so that from the rising of the sun to its setting they will praise your glorious name. 

my children, trust in the lord! he is your help and your shield. i admonish you a again my children, trust in the lord! he is your help and your shield. you who fear the lord, trust in him! he is your help and your shield. may you be blessed by the lord who made heaven and earth! we will bless you o god, from this time forth and forevermore. praise the lord! (psalm 112, 113, 115)

and another...

our father in heaven, 
hallowed be thy name. please keep your name holy in the lives of our children. cause them to consider it reverently in their minds and hearts, treating it as sacred by their words and conduct 

may your kingdom come, and may they long for the day of your fullness far more than anything else in this life. stir their hearts to seek first your kingdom.

your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. perform your good pleasure in them - use them as vessels to magnify the beauty of your son. give them this day their daily bread, providing for their physical needs, for you are a loving  merciful father who gives good gifts to his children. teach them to trust you, being not anxious about whether they will have enough for tomorrow. 

forgive them their debts as they also forgive their debtors. forgive them when they fall short of your glory. and form in them pardoning hearts, forbearing in everything.

lead them not into temptation but deliver them from evil. rescue them from the deceitfulness of sin. but your undeserved mercy keep their hearts from being darkened and led into foolishness. for yours is the kingdom, the power and the glory forever! amen. (matthew 6)

tossed to and fro...

since i have not followed through with blogging all of my thoughts from the children desiring god conference, i will just post links to some of my favorite content. this talk by dr. russell moore was rocked and inspired me. i highly recommend watching it or going to the children desiring god site and scrolling down to find the audio.


Russell Moore: No Longer Tossed To and Fro from Children Desiring God on Vimeo.

i came across this song the other day and thought it would be great to share. its called "planting trees" by andrew peterson (who wrote and sings the behold the lamb of god album i love so much). the song uses the illustration of a tree to talk about parenting. i am not even a parent yet and i really like it.