come ye children...

i know i have talked about this book before, but a recent conversation with a friend this week brought it to mind again.  i LOVE this book. it is by far the most encouraging book for children's ministry and parenting that i have read.  it is a short and powerful read.  this book will challenge the way you think about children's ministry and encourage you all at the same time.

spurgeon reminds us that value of a soul is not determined by its age.  we are all guilty (yes even children's ministers) of putting more energy and emphasis in caring for adults and pointing them to jesus, but their soul is no more valuable than a little one's. we often teach the gospel to kids as if they are not really going to be saved until they are older anyway - like our god can't save them as a child.

spurgeon also challenges us to teach the hard doctrines to kids.  just as they are important for you and i to know and understand god, they are are important to the kids.  he pushes back on the idea that things are too hard fro children to understand. he says that if something is too hard for children to understand, then fault lies with the teacher.  if the teacher does not understand it well enough to explain it simply to a child, then they do not truly understand it. sure there are things that developmentally are hard for children to understand, but i think spurgeon is right.  this had driven me to study theology more than ever before.  to explain sovereignty, atonement, suffering, and grace to a child correctly, i had better know it well.  spurgeon as well as those at desiring god argue that the most theologically educated people in your church - meaning those who not just know but who understand it - need to be those in children's ministry.


he also challenges those who teach in children's ministry to teach with such care because our children do not have the choice to leave and sit under better or more theologically correct teaching.  they do not have the discernment yet to know when our teaching is incorrect.  i had never thought about it like that before.

there are many more things i love about this book, but i want you to read it, so i will stop now.  trust me, if you are a parent or in children's ministry, you need this book.

give them grace...

i read this book on vacation this summer.  it has now become one of my new favorite parenting books.  the author does not line out 10 steps to raising children, but she reminds us of god's grace and hpw as parents we are to be ambassadors of that grace to them.  just as god the father so lovingly instructs us, as parents, we too are called to lead them in that way.  we do want to create rule followers, we want god fearers.  we need our children to understand their need for god and his grace.  we want them to see all that he has lavished upon them.

the author also does a good job of equipping you with some practical tools as well. if you are a parent, i highly recommend you reading this book! 

setting their hope in god...

i recently came across this book as i was blog hopping looking for new children's resources.  i have not read all of it, but what i have read, i love.

it is a book of prayers, similar to the valley of vision, but they are prayers of a parent for their children.  there is nothing magical or more powerful about these prayers, but they are great resource of what and how to pray for your children (and great prayers for yourself -  or maybe that is just me)

if you are a parent, you are going to want this book.  if you know someone who is becoming a parent, you will want to give them this book.  if you work with children, you will want to pray through these for your kiddos.  just to give it more credibility, on the back it has recommendations from russell moore (author of adopted for life), sally lloyd-jones (author the jesus storybook bible), david and sally michael (pastors at children desiring god) and others.

here is a sample prayer:

god,
blessed are those who fear you, who greatly delight in your commandments! please continue to mold my children into such men and women. 

make light dawn in the darkness for them; you are gracious, merciful, and righteous. grant that they deal generously and lend, conducting their affairs with justice. let them never be moved, remember them forever. 

may they not be afraid of bad news, but make their hearts firm, trusting in you. give them steady hearts, so that from the rising of the sun to its setting they will praise your glorious name. 

my children, trust in the lord! he is your help and your shield. i admonish you a again my children, trust in the lord! he is your help and your shield. you who fear the lord, trust in him! he is your help and your shield. may you be blessed by the lord who made heaven and earth! we will bless you o god, from this time forth and forevermore. praise the lord! (psalm 112, 113, 115)

and another...

our father in heaven, 
hallowed be thy name. please keep your name holy in the lives of our children. cause them to consider it reverently in their minds and hearts, treating it as sacred by their words and conduct 

may your kingdom come, and may they long for the day of your fullness far more than anything else in this life. stir their hearts to seek first your kingdom.

your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. perform your good pleasure in them - use them as vessels to magnify the beauty of your son. give them this day their daily bread, providing for their physical needs, for you are a loving  merciful father who gives good gifts to his children. teach them to trust you, being not anxious about whether they will have enough for tomorrow. 

forgive them their debts as they also forgive their debtors. forgive them when they fall short of your glory. and form in them pardoning hearts, forbearing in everything.

lead them not into temptation but deliver them from evil. rescue them from the deceitfulness of sin. but your undeserved mercy keep their hearts from being darkened and led into foolishness. for yours is the kingdom, the power and the glory forever! amen. (matthew 6)

the hole in our gospel...

i am way behind on writing this, but i finished this book last month. i had a hard copy of the book but i listened to most of on audiobook. the author, richard stearns is the president of world vision.  he actually starts the book by sharing his story of how god called him to be president of world vision from being a ceo of another major corporation.  stearns then goes on to talk about how much of the gospel is about loving and helping those in need, in addition to telling them about jesus. he uses the illustration of a bible with all of the social aspect of the gospel cut out and says that is the gospel that most of us live by.  only a few here in america actually live in radical obedience to christ like he calls us to.  we often do just enough to look good and get by. stearns also bombards you with some pretty startling statistics of the state of our world. but I think what I like the best about the book was how he leaves you with how you can start helping now.  what you can do to get started on this daunting task. its a long book, but well worth the read or listen.

praying god's word...

i can't believe i have not blogged about this book before.  i was just telling a friend about it this week and realized that many people did not know about this gem.  it is a must have! i first went through this over ten years ago and it has been a continued resource for me ever since.

in this book, beth moore teaches the importance of using god's word when we pray. then each chapter is a different stronghold or struggle that is common in our lives.  she briefly describes each struggle in a page or two and then the rest of the chapter is filled with prayers that are straight from scripture that related to that struggle.  such a valuable resource! basically, beth has taken scripture that speaks directly to each struggle - helping you fight the lies and half truths that we all believe daily.  she fills the chapters with god's promises and his character in order that we might fight with hope. oh so good!

you don't necessarily have to read it chapter by chapter (though i recommend readding through it all at some point).  you can jump to whatever chapter you feel would encourage you the most.  there are chapters on overcoming anxiety, overcoming feelings of rejection, overcoming food-related strongholds, overcoming pride, etc.  my book is all kinds of marked with scriptures that i have prayed or that have helped me when i was struggling. i return to this book often, thankfully i have it in hardback so it can withstand all the use.

this is a resource that everyone should have in their home.

what i plan to read in 2011...

as you can see from my last post, i love to read, but my reading is not what you would call well rounded.  you will notice that i had absolutely no fiction on that list. i want to make some strides to be a little better this year. i want to read some good fiction (no twilight please) and a few biographies this year.  so i posted awhile back asking for your suggestions. i started putting together a list of what i wanted to read and what you guys recommended.  not all recommendations made the list, because you crazies recommended more fiction than this brain could handle in 12 months. so i tucked some of those suggestions away for 2012. i want to read and/or listen to a book a month (at least). i think i can do more, but we will see what happens.  here are my books in the order i think i will read them, but that is subject to change based on how i feel each month.

1. death by love: letters from the cross by mark driscoll & gerry breshears
2. the hole in our gospel by richard stearns
3. uncle tom's cabin by harriet beecher stowe
4. the connected child by dr. karyn purvis (i have already started this book twice)
5. the boy who was raised as a dog by bruce perry
6. total church by tim chester (this is subject to move up due to peer pressure from todd engstrom)
7. ministries of mercy by tim keller
8. the out of sync child: recognizing and coping with sensory processing disorders by carol kranowitz
9. mark of the lion: a voice in the wind by francine rivers
10. the hiding place by corrie ten boom
11. bonhoeffer: pastor, martyr, prophet by eric metaxas
12. mark of the lion: an echo in the darkness by francine rivers
13. a servere mercy by shelden vanauken
14. pilgrim's progress by john bunyan
15. adopting the hurt child by gregory keck
16. mark of the lion: as sure as the dawn by francine rivers
17. water for elephants by sara gruen
18. the help by kathryn stockett

we will see how my year goes. i am sure that some of these books won't actually get read, but here is to trying.  maybe i should get a kindle...

books i read in 2010...

here is a list of books that i read or re-read in 2010:

celebration of discipline
by richard foster

this is a practical book explaining the different spiritual disciplines that god has given us to use in order that we might know him more. each chapter is about a separate discipline (meditation, prayer, fasting, study, simplicity, solitude, submission, service, confession, worship, guidance, celebration).  foster explains the discipline, where if comes from, why we do it, and some tips on how to do it.  this was one of the first books that taught about fasting.  this was my third time to read this book (the first being my freshman year of college) and i am planning on reading through it again this year with a group of girls - since discipline, especially these disciplines, are not my strong suit.


spiritual leadership
by j. oswald sanders

if you have not read this book, you are missing the boat. this book is not just for those in leadership positions, but for every believer! i have read and re-read this book more times than i can count. i even bought copies for my leadership team in kidstuff and made them read it and set goals based on what the lord showed them. sanders give practical tip that are simple yet convicting and based completely on scripture. they are not just his thoughts on what make people successful leaders. every time i read this, i learn something new or i see something i need to change in the way i love, lead and teach others.  this book has greatly influenced my leadership ability.


a praying life 
by paul miller

i read this book this summer with a group of women. and let me tell you, it has changed me. i wrote a blog about it here. two of the greatest lessons i learned from this book were: 1) the reason i don't pray is because i am too independent from god. if i really saw him as my provider and the sustainer in everything, i would pray all the time. instead, i pray when things get our of control or when i have some spare time. 2) i can ask god for whatever i want. it doesn't make him a genie for me, it actually deepens our relationship and my trust in him.  coming to him and asking like a child is when i find prayer time to be a sweet time.  towards the end of the book, miller also gives some great practical tips on prayer (like creating prayer cards) that i found extremely helpful.

radical 
by david platt

this is a great book that contrasts biblical christianity with the american dream. platt points out how the american dream has changed christianity.  he calls us look at what following christ really looks like, and yes it looks radical compared to typical christian culture. a great read! kind of want to give this a re-read now too.






the forgotten god
by francis chan

i read this book after hearing francis chan speak at the verge conference last year. he mentioned this book and all that he had been learning about the holy spirit, so i went home and bought it on audiobook. here is the blog i wrote on this book. it is a wonderful book that talks about the holy spirit and how must of us have no idea what he does or how he works, so we live as if he doesn't. chan reminds us that we have this powerful spirit inside of us.  all the help we could need right there with us.  a very encouraging book!




undefiled
by harry schaumburg

i can't remember why i picked up this book exactly, but i sure am glad i did! this book needs to be read by any, regardless of your sexual past. schaumburg addresses how our sexual sin and struggles relates to our sinful hearts.  he explains and addresses our fears and needs.  i also wrote a quick review of this book when i read it.






recovering biblical manhood and womanhood edited by john piper and wayne grudem

i read through this beast with a group of women starting in 2009 but we finished in 2010. and yes we read through every single chapter! it was so good, but a beast (this is why i had to read it with friends, i would have quit otherwise). the authors of this book address the effects of feminism on society as a whole and point to what the bible defines as our roles.  such good information about how men and women were created to function together and the roles god purposefully gave us.  read this with some other people and you will learn much.  and press on through the middle of the book, it is a very technical section and can be dry at times, but other parts of the book are worth it.


castaway kid
by r.b. mitchell

this is an account of a man who grew up in an orphanage.  his mother dropped him off at three and with the exception of a few months here and there, he would remain in that orphanage until he was 18.  the story is heart-wrenching and will make you made at times, but it gives great insight to what these kids feel and experience as they are placed in foster care/orphanages and are given up by their families.





finally alive 
by john piper

in this book piper explains the ins and outs of what it means to be born again -  a term thrown around in christian circles a lot, but not always explained.  here is a blog that shares more of my thoughts after reading it.  and as i said before, i am not sure if i am getting smarter or if piper is learning how to write for us minions, but this book is definitely more easy to read than his others.






cost of discipleship
by dietrich bonhoeffer

i love dietrich bonhoeffer! this book is awesome! it is dense and it is heavy, but it is worth every hour you will spend reading it.  bonhoeffer discusses the costs that are required to follow christ and be his disciple - costs that we are often uncomfortable with, but costs that will reap incredible results! read this book! i will read this again. and i am planning on reading bonheoffer's biography this year.





pursuit of god
by aw tozer

this is a short but powerful book that i listened to this summer on audiobook. tozer describes what the life of someone who pursues god should look like - the discipline and cost it requires but also the blessings it pormises.  this book made me want to read more tozer.







big truths for young hearts
by bruce ware

this was my second time to read all the way through this book, though i refer to all the time when i am writing children's curriculum.  this is a theology book written for parents to use with their kids.  ware does not go into the depths of grudem's theolgy books, but he covers each topic well and in terms that kids can understand.  it is not just good for kids, it is good for adults too! and it is less intimidating that systematic theology (though that book is very readable too, it is just huge)




the practice of the presence of god
by brother lawrence

this was another re-read, but i needed it! this very short book (you could read it in an afternoon) helps us remember that we live in god's presence all the time. that we can always talk with him, think on him and worship him.  we have so compartmentalized god that we often only think of him at church or in our quiet times, but once we leave those places, he rarely crosses our minds.  this book challenges us to practice living in the presence of god each moment of the day, to think on him always.




humility
by andrew murray

another super short read. this is one of the first books that i have read that explains what humility is and what it looks likes.  before reading this book all i knew of humility was what it was not. humility was not being prideful. murray doea a great job explaining what a humble heart looks like. a must read. i have heard that c.j. mahaney's book humility is also very good, but i have not read it.

jesus storybook bible...aka best book ever!

this blog is long overdue! i cannot believe that i have not blogged about this before.  but another great resource for advent, and for life in general, is the jesus storybook bible by sally lloyd jones. seriously if you have kids, you need to buy this ASAP.  if you do not have kids, you still need to buy it.  it will definitely help you love jesus more.

this book goes through most of the stories in the bible and explains them in a way that is fun and engaging for kids and puts it in a way that is understandable for them.  but the best thing about this book is that it takes every story and shows you how it points to jesus or god sending jesus.  this book has helped me see how each story is a reminder of god's never ending, relentless love for us in keeping his promise to send his son.

this year in preparation for advent, we are using several of these stories to prepare the kids for the birth of jesus.  this book helps us see how the plan for jesus to come has been from the beginning. 

and just a fair word of warning, this book has made me cry many times! if you are reading it to kids or just to yourself know that tears can happen at any time.  so go ahead and order it, for yourself, your kids or as a gift!

you can also order this book in spanish here: Biblia para ninos, Historias de Jesus / The Jesus Storybook Bible: Cada historia susurra su nombre / Every story whispers his name (Spanish Edition)

come thou long expected jesus...

this is another book that i purchased in order to do research on advent.  it has 22 readings in it from authors such a martin luther, john calvin, jonathan edwards, and john piper. i have only read a few so far, but it has been good for my heart to stop and focus on what this season means.

watch for the light...

i bought this book to use for research on advent.  it is a book with short daily readings beginning november 24th and going through january 7.  i have read a few of the articles in here (mainly the ones by dietrich bonhoeffer and cs lewis) and i like it so far.  i am planning on reading the rest throughout the advent season.  i am sure i will be sharing my thoughts on these as i learn this year.

window on the world...

i bought this book not too long ago after reading david platt's book, radical.  one of the things he challenges his readers to do is to pray for the world and he lists two resources for this.  one being operation world and the other being window on the world.

operation world is for us adults and so i ordered it, but the copy i ordered will not be published until october 15th. i am sure i will talk more about it after i have received it.

window on the world is the kids version of this.  and i LOVE it!  while i have been waiting for operation world to come out, i have started using window on the world. it is so good and so simple.  each page is a different people group to pray for.  it tells you some of the history about the country, what they believe, what they are know for, etc.  there are pictures of people and children and a map so you can see where each people group lives.  then there are simple (yet powerful) prayer points to pray through for them.  i was moved to tears reading through it in the office the other day.

if you have children, especially kindergarten and older, i would highly recommend this book.  your older elementary school kids could probably even read through it themselves, but it is also a great way for your family to pray together for other people groups.  what a great resource to teach our children about god's heart for the nations!! just go ahead and order it!

a praying life...

i read this book over the summer with a group of women and it has been one of the most practical and impactful books on prayer that i have read. perhaps some of it was the circumstances (learning things through my car and the awesome friends who were reading this book with me) but i am changed because of this book. 

miller does an excellent job at explaining the childlike qualities that are needed for prayer.  one of the most impactful statements for me was "we don't need self-discipline to pray continuously, we just need to be poor in spirit" (66).  it is not more self-discipline and planning that will make me a better prayer.  no i don't pray not because i don't know how or not because i am not disciplined enough or not because i do not have enough time. no i don't pray simply because i do not think i need him! if was poor in spirit and dependent on him, then i would be praying like crazy.  asking him for help and seeking his strength and wisdom.  but the truth is, i only do that when the big stuff happens or when i have exhausted all of my other tricks or i am at my whit's end.  so my prayer began to be that the lord would make me dependent upon him and less independent.  no lie, that was the day that my car died. :) coincidence, i think not. needless to say the next few month, my prayer life grew to a whole new level!

i cannot recommend this book enough to you.  you need to read it!  miller does a great job of exposing why we don't pray and really getting at the heart as well as laying out simple tools that can help us grow in our prayer life.  buy this book! click to the left and order it right now on amazon!

radical by david platt...

i finished this book a couple of weeks ago and i really liked it!  it is not dense but yet it is still challenging. platt just points out how the church and american christianity has been affected by the american dream.  he challenges us to look at what the bible says faith in christ looks like verses what it looks like in our culture today.  this book it easy to read, but it is challenging for sure.  the lord sure used it to convict me. he used to search my heart and expose some of the things i am not wiling to let go of in order to follow him.  i would highly recommend this book.  i actually listened to it on audiobook, which was great.  i had to listen to the chapter on money a few times to let it sink in.

finally alive...

i just finished this book last weekend. it was one of piper's easier reads. i am not sure if i am just getting smarter or if someone told piper he needed to take it down a notch so that us non-theologians could get through a book of his and understand it.  either way, i recommend this!

piper does a great job explaining what it means to be born again, a term we often ignore, because if we were honest, our understanding of it is not better than nicodemas'. 

here are a few things that i really enjoyed from the book.  i really liked (and needed) the reminder that being born again is something that god does.  he initiates it.  i cannot.  i know that, but my little heart keeps trying to prove that i can. i loved his explanation of 1 john.  so many reassurances of salvation!  i was challenged by his explanations of the implications of being born again.  what does that mean for me?  it was a great read. 

forgotten god...

i recently finished listening and relistening to francis chan's book, forgotten god, on itunes audiobook. it is SOOO good. i am not great at writing these book reviews, but i highly recommend this book.  chan talks about the holy spirit residing in us.  our lives should look different.  god living in us!  we have THE HELPER, yet most of us do not live lives that need help so we never have to rely on him.  or we live lives that are anxiety and control ridden because we have forgotten that god lives in us.  he gives us the words to say, he provides, he teaches, he leads, he guides, he protects, he strengthens, etc etc. and most of us (me being at the very top of this list) rarely call on him.  only when the breakdown comes to we seek his help.  i am all too guilty of this.  that is why i continue to relisten to segments of this book.  i found myself asking the question, "why does my life look just like all the other moral and religious people out there? if i have god living in me, why doesn't my life look different?"

so this book has pushed me to try this out.  try trusting him in the moment. asking for help from him in the moment. i have had some victories and i have still given into my old habits, but i tell you what, those small victories have made me fall in love with and trust my savior more.  i long to live by faith, but i clearly live by strength and strategy.  faith trusts on the lord's strength and strategy, something my heart cannot seem to let go if. this book has also shown me how feeble my prayer life is, how little i commune with him and ask for help.  how often i think i can do eternal work with out the help of the eternal One.  and then i cave under the stress and pressure because i do not ask the Helper. i am fumbling around with this.

so anyway, i am sure many of you trust the lord more than i do, but this book has been so good for me! the audiobook is actually read by chan and is really easy to listen to.

undefiled...

i just finished reading this book this weekend. i highly recommend it for anyone, no matter your marital status or sexual history. it is so good! i picked it up because i heard many people talking about it and i really did not think a lot of it would apply to me since i am not married nor have i struggled with sexual sin (or so i thought). but boy did i learn alot!  this book does an excellent job of relating sexual sin to our sinful hearts.  he also talks about men and women's greatest fears and failures in this and roles we were designed to have in sex.  he clearly relates sex to spirituality, something most people do not explain.  sex and hte misunderstanding and misuse of it causes every human being some grief on some level.  this book helps you see the healthy way god created sex and discern that from the selfish way the world portrays sex. i will save the details for you to learn as you read, but trust me it is a must read!

respectable sins: anger... [part one]

bridges addresses anger in two chapters and acknowledges that he is only scratching the surface.  i really liked these two chapters. very convicting for me. anger is for sure one of the sins that i continually fall into and then sweep it under the rug or just dismiss it. so let's dive in.

"anger is a universal problem, prevalent in every culture, experienced by every generation. no one is isolated from its presence or immune from its poison. it permeates each person and spoils our most intimate relationships. anger is a given part of our fallen human fabric."

- uprooting anger by robert jones

bridges defines anger as "a strong feeling of displeasure, and usually of antagonism. [and]... it's often accompanied by sinful emotions, words, and actions hurtful to those who are are the objects of our anger"(121).

he pauses here to define righteous anger so that we can differentiate between sinful anger and righteous anger.

"righteous anger arises from an accurate perception of true evil - that is, as a violation of god's moral law. it focuses on god and his will, not on me and my will. second, righteous anger is always self-controlled. it never causes one to lose his temper or retaliate in some vengeful way"(122).

nine times out of ten, my anger is somehow about me and how i have been wronged. it is not because my lord is being defamed. and my lack of self-control is proof that it is sinful.

bridges then comes at us with a dagger and says:

"no one causes us to be angry. someone else's word or actions may become the occasion of our anger, but the cause lies deep within us - usually our pride, or selfishness, or desire to control" (122).

boom! i often play the blame game with anger.  i am so angry because so and so did this... when in reality, when so and so did such and such it made me look bad, embarrassed me, let me down, or hurt me.  bridges reminds us that we chose how we respond to someone's sinful actions towards us.  [1 peter 2:18-20]

so when we find ourselves angry, we need to stop and acknowledge and confess the sin.  we need to ask ourselves, why are we angry. what is the deeper issue here?  take time to examine what really made us angry and what would a gospel centered response look like? we need to remember how scripture teaches us to treat one another. [1 corinthians 13:4-8, ephesians 4:32] if we have expressed our anger toward someone, we need to seek their forgiveness.  i do not do this well. i just hope that it will just blow over and that they will know that i am not normally like that, or that they will not do that again to make me mad. lastly, bridges points out that we need to trust god and his sovereignty over everything, even the affairs of our daily lives. when we remember that god is in control of all and that he is all powerful, it makes it a tad easier to see the current situation as a way to make us more like christ in our response.

bridges takes a brief section of this chapter to point out that anger towards god is a sin. i think we can all think of a time when we were angry with god about something. sometimes it is something big and life changing but most times it is something that we do not understand and it begins subtly as questioning. then the questioning turns into a manipulation of proverbs 3:4-5 "god i need/deserve this and if you were real you would provide it."

a specific example of this in my life is singleness. i have wrestled with this a lot. "god, why have you not brought me someone? why do you say that it is not good for man to be alone, yet you have no one for me? you have given me this desire, you owe it to me to fulfill it." the lord finally humbled me and showed me that what i was essentially saying was, "your plan stinks. i don't trust it. i want to be married now, in fact i should have been a long time ago." after this humiliation, i had to remind myself that the lord withholds no good thing from me and that he is in complete control and knows what is best and will provide for all my needs. see what this anger revealed? thankfully after much wrestling, the lord has brought me to a place where i trust him with my future mate or future singleness.  he changed my view from wanting to live this life married to wanting to live this life for the kingdom, married or not.

so when you find yourself angry at god, and you will if you are human, we need to acknowledge it as sin and repent.  why is it sin? god is big enough to handle it right?  it is a sin because "it is a moral judgment, and in the case of god, it accuses him of wrongdoing" (127).  bridges is quick to say that the solution to this problem is not just stuffing away the feelings because we know they are wrong, but rather to focus on the heart issue: not trusting in god and his sovereignty and power. 

but what about the sin against us? what about how we were wronged? don't we have a right to be angry about that? i will let scripture answer that for us. matthew 18:15-35 ought to be convicting enough. this is a VERY convicting passage for me. i always want to look at how someone has wronged me and i forget how christ has forgiven me. that my wrongs meant he had to die for me.  bridges poses a great thought.

"do i believe that this difficult situation or this unjust treatment is under the sovereign control of god and that in his infinite wisdom and goodness he is using these difficult circumstances to conform me more ot the likeness of christ" (124). hebrews 12:4-11 romans 8:28

that is enough to read and think on for one blog post. i will write another that covers bridges second chapter on anger: the weeds of anger and how to deal with our anger.

respectable sins: impatience and irritability

a short chapter that calls out a sin we all deal with. be it with our spouse, our kids, our roommates, behind the wheel of a car, with our co-workers, etc. it does not take a hard search to see this sin in our lives.  we tend to exhibit this sin most easily with those who we spend a lot of time with.

bridges defines impatience as "a strong sense of annoyance at the (usually) unintentional faults and failures of others. this impatience is often expressed verbally in a way that tends to humiliate the person (or persons) who is the object of the impatience"(116).

he defines irritability as "the frequency of impatience, or the ease with which a person can become impatient over the slightest provocation"(118).

impatience exposes our pride. we think our way of doing something is better. we think our time is more important. we think we are smarter, sharper or better, etc. we are hardly putting someone else before ourselves. we do not think that someone else is as valuable as christ would see them. as with pride, in the midst of our impatience, our own faults diminish. 

bridges also points out that someone else does not cause our impatience.  they just provide an opportunity for the flesh to assert itself. "the actual cause of our impatience lies within our own hearts, in our own attitude of insisting that others around us conform to our expectations"(117).

in the latter half of the chapter, the author talks about our response if we are the object of someone elses impatience.  there are two improper responses: 1) start a "war of words." say something back that is sharp and cutting so they will know they cannot talk to you like that. 2)inwardly seethe and resent the person who has sinned against you (i think bridges wrote that one for me.)

he says that biblically we have two options: 1) follow the example of christ who "when he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued trusting himself to him who judges justly" (1 peter 2:23) and 2) confront the person, but "only when you have resolved the issue in your own heart and can speak to the other person for his or her benefit, not just to make your own life more pleasant" (119).




impatience is an easy sin to let slide, but i know this chapter has made me examine why i get so irritated and annoyed and 9 times out of 10 it is purely selfish. 

respectable sins: lack of self-control

for me this chapter exposed many things that i know, but that i have yet to do anything about. good stuff.

"like a city that is broken into and without walls is a man who has no control over his spirit." proverbs 25:28

bridges opens with this verse, reminding the readers that in biblical times a wall was a city's main line of defense.  if the wall was down, they were vulnerable to so many attacks.  a lack of self-control in any area of our life should be a good warning sign to us that trouble is on the way or it has already snuck in without us knowing it. bridges is quick to tell us that many christians think they have self control because, "we have boundaries from out christian culture that tend to restrain us from obvious sins, but within those boundaries, we pretty much live as we please. we seldom say 'no' to our desires and emotions"(110).

bridges goes on to talk about three areas that most christians fail to exercise self-control. the first is eating and drinking.  he is quick to point out that this is not just for people who have a "weight problem," but for anyone that lets their craving for food or drink or even their enjoyment of food or drink drive them.  be it ice cream, chocolate, alcohol, soft drinks, or whatever. if we cannot live without it or cannot stop after a reasonable portion, we lack self-control. and it is dangerous. secondly he talks about temper. if we lash out quickly with any emotion, it shows a lack of self-control. and finally, he talks about personal finances.  the fact that most americans, yes even american christians, live above their means shows our lack of self-control. and just because someone is not in debt does not mean that this is not a struggle. many affluent people, indulge themselves in whatever their heart desires. this is obviously not a comprehensive list.  there are many other seemingly harmless ones, like too much time on the computer (guilty), watching too much television, impulse buying, watching or playing sports, exercise, etc.

bridges does not talk about this, but i wanted to make this point. this lack of self control can definitely be used to expose what our idols are.  the reason we cannot quit them is because we need them or we need to do them to serve our idol, the thing we consider most important.  it is going to be hard to quit these behaviors or control them without taking a look deeper to expose our idols. 

some of you may say, "i am not doing this because i am enslaved to something. i am doing this because i enjoy it and it brings me pleasure. or it helps me take my mind off of stuff." i would caution you to take a more careful look. look deep!  if you want to see if you are really controlled by something or if it is controlling you give it up cold turkey for period of time.  how many times a day do you think about it or want to do it?  do you have to do something to keep your mind off of it?  then sadly my friend, you are bowing to an idol or using this to numb you to the pain of the world or as a fix to keep you from something else. all wrong responses. if you are bowing to an idol, it often stems from something you do not understand of believe about the gospel.  why do you need that to feel good? wholeness never comes through the blessing, only through the blessor!

so how do i practice this self-control?  it is a bit deceiving because it sounds like we can do it on our own. but we cannot!  to have self-control in all areas of  our lives we need help.  that is why self-control is listed as a fruit of the spirit. the same spirit that raised christ from the dead resides in us and can give us self-control.  we have to be dependent on him.  he is probably going to have expose our idols and why we love some things so much before he enables us to have self-control. he will reveal to us how the gospel is all satisfying and we do not need this.  then our desire for it will be conquered with the sweet taste of the gospel. and each time we battle it, we need to remind each other of just that.

respectable sins: selfishness...

this is not one of my favorite chapters in the book, not because it was the most convicting, but because i think it could have addressed more and pointed us more to the gospel. bridges does tie it in a little bit at the end, but for a behavior oriented moralist like me, this chapter sounds all to familiar to the "change your behavior stuff" i grew up thinking.  i will go ahead and summarize, but i am also going to expound a lot too.

bridges starts the chapter with an illustration about kids not wanting to share and taking a toy and saying, "mine," or "i don't want you to have it." children hardly looking out for the interests of others.  he points out that as we get older, those thought patterns do not go away, they just flesh out in more socially acceptable ways.  none of us would throw a temper tantrum if someone else got what we wanted, but i think we could all admit to a time when we were jealous or mad that someone got some thing that we did not. we all struggle with selfishness.  and it is much easier to point out in someone elses life rather than our own. in fact we can identify it easily because we act and think the same way.

he addresses four specific areas of selfishness in this chapter, admitting that there are so many more!

first, he talks about being selfish with our interests and talking about ourselves and what we like rather than listening. i think we do this for many reasons. a) we like ourselves. we are our favorite subject. everyone should know about something as great as us. b) we are insecure. if we sell ourselves as great or noble or generous or whatever, then people will like us and think we are great and affirm us. c) or we just do not care about someone else and don't want to get involved with listening to them, so we will just keep talking. we are indeed "lovers of self" (2 tim 3:2).

secondly he says we are selfish with our time. "i am entitled to my time and don't ask for any of it. "do you know how busy i am? i have things to do." "that is not my job. someone else needs to do that." the root of what we are saying can boiled down to this, "sorry, i have my own kingdom to build." bridges points out that we are called to bear one another's burdens (gal 6:2). sadly, we often do not want to or we are just too busy to even notice others burdens.

thirdly, bridges talks about being selfish with our money. i don't think anyone could argue against that.  the bible tells us over and over again how we are to care for those in need (the poor, the widow, the orphan, the homeless) but how much of our budget actually goes to that?

lastly, he talks about being inconsiderate. we often do not think about the impact our words or actions have on someone else. we are often so concerned with our agenda or our pressing need, that we do not think about how we express it or we trample over others in the process.

bridges writes, "the selfish person not only is indifferent to the needs of others but actually expects them to meet his needs and desires" (106). so true!

so what is the gospel response to this? it is more than just "quit thinking about yourself and think about others." it is a call to look at the gospel. not only is jesus a perfect example of someone who was unselfish, but his gospel frees me from my selfishness. because i am loved by him, i do not have to worry about talking about myself, i can actually listen and hear others. because i know that he is on control, i do not have to worry about interruptions to my plan or my time. in fact, the notion of my time does not exist. i know that all is his and that the reason i am here is to glorify him and if there is an interruption, i know that he has something that will bring glory to his name, more than my plan, even if it ruins all of my plans. his power and provision in the cross and resurrection free me from the love of money. rather than storing up here or working to buy things here that will make my life more comfortable, i look for how i can use all that i have so that he can be glorified and i trust that he will provide.. and because i do not have to worry about myself, the gospel causes me to think of others to want them to know love like this. as i look around, i seek ways to build the body and serve others so that christ can be glorified. i am not worried about me because i know that christ is more than enough.