so i have not been able to move past this prayer in a week. i love it!
from the valley of vision
when clouds of darkness, atheism, and unbelief come to me,
i see thy purpose of love
in withdrawing the spirit that i might prize him more,
in chastening me for my confidence in
past successes, that my wound of secret godlessness might be cured.
help me to humble myself before thee
by seeing the vanity of honour
as a conceit of men's minds,
as standing between me and thee;
by seeing that thy will must alone be done,
as mush in denying as in giving
by seeing that my heart is nothing but evil,
mind, mouth, life void of thee;
by seeing that sin and satan are allowed power
in me that i might know my sin, be humbled,
and gain strength thereby;
by seeing that unbelief shuts thee from me,
so that i sense not thy majesty, power, mercy,
then possess me, for thou only art good and worhty.
thou dost not play in convincing me of sin,
satan did not play in tempting me to it,
i do not play when i sink in deep mire,
for sin is not game, no toy, no bauble,
let me never forget the heinousness of sin lies
not so much in the nature of the sin committed,
as in the greatness of the Person sinned against.
when i am afraid of evils to come, comfort me,
by showing me me
that in myself i am a dying, condemned wretch,
but that in christ i am reconciled, made alive,
that i am feeble and unable to do any good,
but that in him i can do all things,
that what i now have in christ is mine in part,
but shortly i shall have it perfectly in heaven.