"i think i can license you next week..."

As I read those words on my computer screen on Thursday, I was flooded with all kinds of emotions. I think I am ready. After all the Lord planted this idea in my mind two years ago. I am excited to see what God is going to do. I am excited to see my child's face. I am excited to have the chance to teach them the gospel. I am excited to decorate their room with stuff they like. I am excited to give them gifts. Oh man I am excited!

Buuuuuuuut I am equally as nervous. Nervous about all the unknown. Nervous to know what my child is like. To know what has been done to them and not know how to help heal them. Nervous about doing this alone. Nervous about having enough money. Nervous about how I am going to balance work and parenting. Nervous about all the change that is about to happen. I don't really care for change.

But I know that faithful is he who called me and he will do it. He who did not spare his own son, will he not also with him graciously give us all things? God cares for this child more than I could. And those are the truths I am clinging to.

Needless to say my emotions are unpredictable right now. Somewhere between excited and nervous. So watch out...