how many times have i questioned god and his timing or his method or his goodness? i know that god is good and that he reigns. well at least i know that in my head, but my heart still says "why god? why this? what are you doing? this is unfair. i never wanted this. i mean if you are good, wouldn't you do this?" for me, this questioning often reflects an attitude of my heart that really thinks that i know better, or worse, an attitude that would rather have my desires filled now and in this way, that have god and his plan.then job answered the LORD and said:
"i know that you can do all things,
and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
'who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?'
therefore i have uttered what i did not understand,
things too wonderful for me, which i did not know.
'hear, and I will speak; i will question you, and you make it known to me.'
i had heard of you by the hearing of the ear,
but now my eye sees you;
therefore i despise myself,
and repent dust and ashes."
- job 42:2-6
the reason my heart has those attitudes (and more) is because i am prideful and forget how little i know and understand. i forget that his ways are higher than mine. that he is always working. that he is not a reactive god, but a god who has a plan. how many times like job have i questioned or complained about something that i do not understand. things job reminds us that are too wonderful for us and things which we do not know. job 38-42 is a wonderful rebuke and reminder for me of god's control, power, plan and faithfulness. i recommend reading it (and rereading it and rereading it) if you find yourself questioning god, doubting his goodness, wondering if he is out there, etc.
how limited is my knowledge, how limited is my thinking. lord i repent! i know that you can do all things that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. help my unbelief and forgive my arrogance.