so i went to my 4th foster/adoption class on thursday. we are in the middle of our TBRI (trust based relational intervention) training, which is based off of karyn purvis' research and her book the connected child. this training has been really good, but i'd be lying if i didn't say it is also a bit overwhelming at times too. how am i going to do this? how can i help a child?
on thursday we talked about working hard to connect with kids. one of the things that you do is called matching. everyone does this with their baby. the baby makes a noise and you make the noise back. or you stick out your tongue and they stick out their tongue. this same type of behavior is what i will need to do to connect with whatever child i have in my home. i keep hearing people say, you will just have to get creative with older kids because you can't exactly coo at a grade school kid. i have been wondering how in the world i was going to do this.
well one of things that dr. purvis says to do is come up with some kind of catch phrase that you say and the child has a part that they say back to you. i lit up! i do this ALL the time with kids in kidstuff, with my friends' kids, and with my roomies.
with one of adrianne's boys i started a joke on vacation last year about pushing him in the water and so i say "i'm gonna push you in the water." and he replies back, "no, i push you in the water, baca."
with gus the bus, before i leave the house each day i say, "okay i gotta go, but while i'm gone don't (something funny here)..." and gus immediately, often before i can finish my sentance, starts to say, "i will. i will." its our routine.
with jamie's boys, we always arm wrestle. what started as a joke about being staci's friend is now our routine. our thing.
i always tease shanna's kids about being stinky or having a pink purse. one of the girls in kidstuff is named becca and each time i see her, we hug and say "team becca." its expected. its what we do.
as i started thinking about all of these, it brought me great hope. this is something i have always done cause i learned from my dad - the best at this. another reminder that this is and has been all part of the lord's plan. he knew i'd need this ability before i was even existed and he gave me a father to teach me how. and he will now use this gift to help make sure my little one feels loved, safe and connected. pretty cool i think...