blue star cafeteria...

the blue star cafeteria is one of my favorite spots to eat in austin! when i first heard about this place, i was envisioning an austin version of luby's.  when a friend suggested it, i was thinking, "a cafetreia, really?" but i was so wrong!  i almost wish they would change their name to the blue star cafe or something.  contrary to what the name may lead you to believe, this is a great place!  they have really good food and it is a really trendy setup.

my personal favorite is their grilled cheese sandwich.  i know, a grilled cheese?  you can make that at home.  you think i like it because i work with kids.  false. i am telling you, this is the best grilled cheese i have ever had.  and it comes with this delicious chutney!  hmmm.  oh and the grilled cheese is on the happy hour menu for half off. 

if you are looking for a healthier option, they also have some great salads.  try it out!  you won't regret it!  i stole these pics from their website, but i thought you needed to see this place.

help...

I lift up my eyes to the hills.
        From where does my help come?
     My help comes from the LORD,
        who made heaven and earth.

    He will not let your foot be moved;
        he who keeps you will not slumber.
     Behold, he who keeps Israel
        will neither slumber nor sleep.

    The LORD is your keeper;
        the LORD is your shade on your right hand.
     The sun shall not strike you by day,
        nor the moon by night.

    The LORD will keep you from all evil;
        he will keep your life.
     The LORD will keep
        your going out and your coming in
        from this time forth and forevermore.
 (Psalm 121)

i read this psalm today and as i did, i was both comforted and convicted.  i was comforted to be reminded that the lord is my help!!  this powerful god is in control and always on watch and working out his plan, never sleeping. never caught of guard. never vulnerable to attack. he is always in charge and knows what will happen, though i may be clueless.  the one who created the heavens and the earth is the one who helps me.

i was also convicted because i was reminded that the lord is my help.  i was convicted because all to often i think other things are my help, or that i just am not that in need of help.  the lord is always my help, whether i am in crisis or just answering some emails.  he is always working out his plan for me, whether i acknowledge and trust it or not.  

i am slowly learning that i am always poor and needy. i am helpless and my plan and resources only get me so far.  i know all of this in my head of course, but i am slow to actually let go of control and believe it. i like trusting in me, after all i am the most reliable person i know. but faith in jesus calls for me to let go of being independent, in control, always planning and back up planning.  it calls for me to need help and to trust my helper.  you know, the one that is all powerful and never sleeps.  i am praying that i will believe in my heart that i am helpless, it just sounds so nice to not worry or be in control, but to trust him.

one year left...

as i have said before, i am officially in a new season of life.  in a year or so i plan to be all done with foster care classes and home-study and hopefully be adopting a child out of foster care.  for all intensive purposes i have a year to live life according to my schedule and however i feel.  most people don't get this long of a warning before a life change.  or if they do, it involves planning a wedding, so really, their life makes a pretty drastic change as soon as a ring is on their finger.  my life has undergone some changes for sure, but i still really have a lot of freedom, for one more year...

the other night as i was running, i began thinking about this.  my life will be drastically different over the next year or so.  i was asking myself, "how am i going to spend this next year?  what am i going to do with it?"  i had this thought a few months back and my answer was something to the effect of "living it up."  enjoying my freedom and my singleness.  stay out late, sleep in, eat out when i want and where i want and have all the fun.  spend time hanging out with all my single friends while i can.

but as the thought crossed my mind this week, my answer was a little different.  i started realizing that this next year will be the most free year i will have in a LONG time to live a life where my affections are not divided.  i can full on invest in eternal things without having to care for anyone but me.  i just started a new discipleship group.  i have a lot of stud leaders on my kidstuff lead team that i am investing in.  i work with lots of amazing women that i want to spend time with.  and for this next year, i can do that without worrying about helping my kid with their homework, or getting them to a practice, or finding someone to watch them, or being home in time to go to bed or to get up early for school. or, most importantly, investing in my kid and teaching them about christ.  i can give my money to people and things i want without thinking about what clothes my kid needs, or what doctor's appointments we need to get to, or whatever.  i even have the blessing of being able to spend long times alone with the lord, uninterrupted. a privilege that will be rare as a mother.

so sure for this next year, i can spend that time and money out having fun and i am sure i will still do that. but this week, i was convicted about how much freedom i wanted to waste on temporary things and on my pleasure.  my investments of time and money will soon be mainly invested in a little disciple that i will adopt.  i want ot take this next year to invest in the kingdom and those around me, undivided.  maybe i will actually use my singleness and life stage how the bible tells me i should.

a sweet reminder...

so last night in my discipleship group, my girls and i were discussing some chapters from big truths for young hearts.  we were discussing the idea that god needs nothing from us and he chooses to love us and make himself known to us, even though he knew we would leave him and reject him.  as we were talking about it we started talking about the many implications that has for our lives.  one of them really hit my little pharisaical hear to the core. 

sometimes i view my time with god as something i do. i must do. i would never actually describe it that way. i am too christian to do that. :) but that feeling of i have to do this stems from the idea that god some how needs me to do this. like if i do this, he can now work through me.  like it was holding back his sovereign power. part of me deep down still thinks it will bring his approval too.  but i already have his approval, his steadfast and unending love.

i've got it backwards.  my "quiet time" or time spent in prayer and in the word is for my benefit, not his.  i have a god who has chosen to reveal himself to me and those times in the prayer and in the word are so that i may know him!  i get to know him!  how often i forget what a privilege that is!  it is not just something to do or some resource to tap or something to gain good standing, it is for my benefit. i have the chance to sit down anfd learn about this god of mysteries. a chance to commune with him, talk with him and even ask him for things.  funny how when my heart believes this is true, i am excited and even long to spend time in prayer.  sadly for most of my life, a quiet time was a burden. something that i knew would be good for me, but i still felt like it was just something god wanted his children to do.  what a sweet reminder of the privilege it is that god reveals himself to us and we get to approach his throne and know him! 

mozart's...

one of my favorite coffeeshops to hang out at is mozart's.  now remember that coffee does not taste good in my mouth, so i am not choosing this place based on their coffee. i have no idea how good their coffee is.  BUT i can tell you that their atmosphere is wonderful.  mozart's is mainly outdoors and it is right on the lake.  there is tons of outdoor seating for you and all of your friends. there is free wifi and sometimes live music.  i could spend hours (and often do) out at mozart's.  the tables are big so there is plenty of room whether you are working, playing a game, eating or you just need some personal space.  mozart's also has some tasty pastries and gelato. for non-coffee drinkers like me, there is quite an assortment of tasty beverages that have no coffee flavor.  so go enjoy!

psalm 23...

this psalm has been on my heart a lot lately.  we memorized it with the kiddos last summer, and i was almost hesitant to do it because it was so familiar to me. i mean, next to jeremiah 29:11 is one of the most merchandised verses out there.  i know for me, that has made me overlook the power packed in here. i could recite the words without even thinking about them. this verse was so familiar to me that is held no power anymore.  thankfully the word of god is alive and active and can pierce, even when i don't think it can.  there is so much comfort and power in this simple psalm.  i mean, phrases like "i shall not want," "you are with me," "my cup overflows," all bring me such comfort!  give it a read and see.

psalm 23

[1] The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 

[2] He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.

[3] He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 

[4] Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 

[5] You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 

[6] Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

a cost of discipleship...

one of this year's lessons for me has been learning that the cost of discipleship is not always giving up the things that the christian world often views as "bad." in fact, some of the more costly parts of following christ are actually giving up things that are not inherently bad.  but nonetheless, they are things that christ has called us to give up in order to know him, feel his love, experience his provision, follow him and fulfill the purpose he has for us. 

one of these things in my life has been learning to not say yes to everything that comes my way.  i love people. i love fun. i love food. i love music. i love competition. i love laughing and i love the outdoors.  if anyone invites me to anything where there is even the possibility of these things,  things then i cannot say no. i would hate to miss out! 

enter problem number one:  when i say yes to everything, other things suffer.  i am tired. i stay up too late. i sleep in. i quit making time for things that are important and even essential to my survival.  sometimes i inadvertantly schedule these things right out of my day (i.e. prayer, time in the word, exercise, alone time, etc).  though people and fun are a huge fill to me, running at a can't-say-no-pace, will eventually drain me and hinder me from doing the very things the lord has called me to. 

enter problem number two:  when i say yes to everything, i find that i start spending money on things. fun often costs money, unless you have time to be creative. which i do not because i am too busy saying yes to everything.  even if i am not spending a crazy amount, or if i have a crazy amount to spend, some times this inability to say no, hinders my ability to do what the lord asks of me or go where he is leading me, because i do not have the money to.  i would love to support this person or give to that or whatever, but i just don't have the money.  it is convicting how i will go over on my fun budget in a heartbeat but struggle to give sacrificially. 

so for me, i am learning (very slowly) to say no (even to some really good things) so that i can say yes to things my lord has called me to do.  to have life and have it abundantly, he is the one i need to follow. otherwise i will live an okay, pretty nice life with a few high points, but still be missing abundant life. the cost of discipleship is more than saying no to the "bad" things, it means saying no to some things so that you can say a full-hearted yes to jesus.