Thursday, June 24, 2010

one year left...

as i have said before, i am officially in a new season of life.  in a year or so i plan to be all done with foster care classes and home-study and hopefully be adopting a child out of foster care.  for all intensive purposes i have a year to live life according to my schedule and however i feel.  most people don't get this long of a warning before a life change.  or if they do, it involves planning a wedding, so really, their life makes a pretty drastic change as soon as a ring is on their finger.  my life has undergone some changes for sure, but i still really have a lot of freedom, for one more year...

the other night as i was running, i began thinking about this.  my life will be drastically different over the next year or so.  i was asking myself, "how am i going to spend this next year?  what am i going to do with it?"  i had this thought a few months back and my answer was something to the effect of "living it up."  enjoying my freedom and my singleness.  stay out late, sleep in, eat out when i want and where i want and have all the fun.  spend time hanging out with all my single friends while i can.

but as the thought crossed my mind this week, my answer was a little different.  i started realizing that this next year will be the most free year i will have in a LONG time to live a life where my affections are not divided.  i can full on invest in eternal things without having to care for anyone but me.  i just started a new discipleship group.  i have a lot of stud leaders on my kidstuff lead team that i am investing in.  i work with lots of amazing women that i want to spend time with.  and for this next year, i can do that without worrying about helping my kid with their homework, or getting them to a practice, or finding someone to watch them, or being home in time to go to bed or to get up early for school. or, most importantly, investing in my kid and teaching them about christ.  i can give my money to people and things i want without thinking about what clothes my kid needs, or what doctor's appointments we need to get to, or whatever.  i even have the blessing of being able to spend long times alone with the lord, uninterrupted. a privilege that will be rare as a mother.

so sure for this next year, i can spend that time and money out having fun and i am sure i will still do that. but this week, i was convicted about how much freedom i wanted to waste on temporary things and on my pleasure.  my investments of time and money will soon be mainly invested in a little disciple that i will adopt.  i want ot take this next year to invest in the kingdom and those around me, undivided.  maybe i will actually use my singleness and life stage how the bible tells me i should.

4 comments:

Kelly Meyer said...

Shoodang. I just got super convicted. Thanks for your thoughts.

Lifeojme said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lifeojme said...

Becca, you are awesome! I am so excited to get to know you better over this next year and then get to know your new little nugget of joy when you get him/her. Love you girl!

April said...

good insight. i think even after the kiddo comes along, temptation seeps in whenever a "free" moment presents itself to be selfish or of a temporal mindset. i struggle with that in regards to Elijah. thanks for posting this. it makes me want to stop and think about how i am spending my time and the focus of my heart. :)