Friday, September 3, 2010

goodbye to lafonda my honda...

lafonda. there she sits. we had to part ways on july 1st when she died in my friend angela's driveway.  she had been giving me trouble, but i was hoping to make her last until next spring without paying for any major repairs.  this was my big prayer request in fact.  but alas, she did not make it and her story has been one that the lord has used to encourage my faith in him.

lafonda died and i had her towed to a mechanic.  he fixed her enough to get her started and then told me that her transmission was worthless.  i knew this was coming.  he said it was going to be about $1700 to fix.  i asked if i could call him back and let him know.  i immediately called my dad and some friends seeking advice.  everyone said, "don't sink any money into it." you see, i am going to need a 4 door more reliable car next summer for the adoption and it just does not make sense to spend money on this car when i will be getting rid of her so soon.  but i do not have the money to buy a new car and do not want to take out a loan since i am trying to get out of debt. so i was torn.

i sat on the couch and thought about it for awhile and decided that i did not have another option, i had to have a car, so i would just fix her up and trust the lord would provide the money i needed later for a car.  i called my mechanic back to tell him to just go ahead and fix it.  when he answered the phone before i could even get a word in, he asked if he could call me back because he had some customers.  i said sure.  well when he called back a few hours later, i missed his call. so it left me with the entire weekend to think about it.

i was in turmoil and fighting anxiety over this all weekend. sunday night as i walked into worship i was having trouble focusing and paying attention. so i sat down and just prayed, "lord please make it clear to me what you want for me to do.  i have no idea. i have not heard from you and i need to know soon." then the sermon started. i don't remember all that the sermon was about (i should probably go back and relisten) but i know the lord used it to tell me VERY clearly to not fix my car.  to just go pick her up and try to sell her for parts on craigslist or something.  i immediately started throwing all the questions at him. questions like, "how am i going to do this or get here? etc."

even though i heard very clearly, i still drug my feet and was still thinking about just getting her fixed.  i could not see a solution for a car if i did not fix her.  but then on wednesday, my mechanic called me and asked me what i wanted to do.  i was faced with a choice: obey the lord and trust him with all the unknowns or do what made logical sense to me and was a safer solution. 

i decided to not get her fixed.  as soon as i told my mechanic, he asked what i was going to do with her.  i told him i was going to try and sell her for parts.  "how much?" he asked.  caught off guard, i said, "what?" "how much do you want to sell her for?" i named my price and he told me he wanted to think about it and he would call me back. 

well, long story short, he ended up buy my car from me. i was shocked at how quickly i sold her.  i started thinking, "wow, i guess the lord really is going to take care of this." so i went and cleaned her out and gave up my title and said goodbye. and i am now carless... which is good and humiliating for me as a 29 year old, but i have much to learn about trusting our all powerful god.

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